Today at work, I had a spray bottle & Vern had a dry rag.

  • Vern: Get me wet
  • Me: What I do best (sprays the rag)
  • Vern: ...I hate lesbians

Who wants to come play in Dayton with me? CELTIC FESTIVAL.


Don’t use me to make your boyfriend jealous. One, I will put it out the minute you try to start something and embarrass the shit out of you. And two, you will destroy that guy’s pride, it’s such an insult to whatever bit of a relationship you have left.

So much for a quiet night after the wedding. I ended up partying with the Fisher’s and staying out far too late.

We got in really late last night so I didn’t notice everything until this morning. But I got a gift bag from Dani full of stationery and office supplies for my cubicle, how thoughtful! Then she wrote me a perfect letter on the best card ever and I think I’m the luckiest girl in the world.